Saturday 15 December 2018

Visiting a Mama & her newborn

Wow! Time is just flying by! I can't believe it’s been four months already. I remember Arlo’s birth and his first few weeks at home like it was yesterday! My talented sister inlaw took these beautiful pictures of Arlo when he was only a few weeks old. I am so happy that she captured these special moments, those newborn days are so precious! Thinking back to that time today I want to share with you my rules for visiting a new parent. Many of these I didn't think of before I myself became a parent. I’m sure many other parents will feel the same way however, I also know that some of you will not. This is just from my own personal experience and hope it helps another new family in those first few days or even if you yourself are planning on meeting a newborn soon. 

Even parents can sometimes not see eye to eye on things. An example was when I just wanted two weeks to get accustomed to our new life and bond with our new son. These are days that you never get back. At first Jake didn't quite understand and I could tell he was just excited to be a Dad for the first time and wanted to show off his new baby to friends and family. However after explaining my feelings to him he agreed and understood, something I am very grateful for! I would highly recommend this to any other new or new-to-be parents. Don't feel guilty about it, there's plenty of time for introductions, but those first few days should just be spent getting to know each other first! Stay in that newborn bubble for as long as possible and soak up those newborn snuggles where the world stops and nothing else matters. Don’t worry about the news, going out, or hosting visitors. Everything will be there when you're ready to dive back in and everyone will understand while you are not.

So here it is my rules for visiting a new parent…..

Parents have a lot on their plates those first weeks and they are learning on how to be parents (on lack of sleep I might add). So unless you’re an immediate family member, I would suggest waiting at least 2 weeks to a month before you stop in to see the new family! Unless, they have reached out and invited you over!! Then by all means go around and enjoy those newborn snuggles. I know that seems like forever, and I myself confess to breaking this rule before I became a parent myself...I mean your just so excited and want to meet the baby, but trust me, they have enough on their plates for the first few weeks!! Oh and don't even think about visiting if you or your kids have a cold or flu. No visiting until you are well. That one should be self-explanatory however, you will be surprised! 

The swoop and grab: 
Ok so you've been given the green light to come over and meet the new bundle of joy and you just want to swoop in and grab that sweet little baby as soon as you've entered, but remember this is a protective new mother you’re dealing with! Haha! It’s always better to wait and see if they ask if you would like to hold the baby before you get right up close and personal. 

Ask before you gram: 
Firstly let the parents annonance their little ones arrival. We kept Arlo’s arrival off social media for nearly a whole week before announcing to the world he had arrived. We wanted to stay in our own little bubble for as long as possible, however we did message family to let them know he had arrived and it was all top secret for those first few days. Our family very kindly respected our wishes and nothing was posted until we were ready to announce to the world. Yip worlds best kept secret! Secondly I would also recommend to check before you post any photos of someone else's baby on social media. It’s just a polite thing to do. Not everyone loves social media like I do.

Help out without asking: 
Firstly don’t come empty handed. They are busy enough looking after baby and it can be hard hosting people at the same time so offer to bring over coffee? Lunch? Or even better bring around some pre-made meals for them to put in the freezer. Trust me, they’ll use it and appreciate it! Secondly, try to give a helping hand. Maybe mama hasn’t showered in a few days? Offer to watch the little one while she takes some much needed time for herself even if it’s just for 15 minutes! Or if she’s fine then maybe the house needs a little bit of TLC? Get the vacuum out, do the dishes, do a load of’s these little kind gestures that don't go unnoticed! 

Compliment Mama: 
She’s been through a lot, she’s tired and wants her vagina to stop hurting! LOL! Not to mention she’s probably still in maternity clothes because nothing else fits and her clothes are constantly covered in baby spills.… so just be a good friend and tell her how beautiful she is. She deserves it! Then tell her that she is rocking motherhood because it's hard work and every new mama needs a boost of confidence in those early days!

Photos by The Leo Style

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